Category Archives: Humor
…or you just might find yourself supporting the American Socialist Party:
For years the masses have told you that if you snooze you lose. You never believed them. You held your head high and slept in whenever you wanted to, always without fear of loss. Many people sleeping in often find it difficult to leave their beds, especially if they have a memory foam mattress which is supposed to be very comfortable according to the Sleepify Guide 2020. Although it can be problematic to stay in bed some days, it can also be nice sometimes. Especially if you’ve had a long, hard week at work. Most people look forward to the weekend due to the fact they can have a lie in! People who want to stay in bed a little bit later can always Check out simplyrest for memory foam mattress or they can look for other reviewing websites to help them make their minds up. However, for those people who regularly stay in bed and find it difficult to get themselves up in a morning, technology is about to change that. The ingenious sages at ThinkGeek Labs(TM) have finally created the Ultimate weapon against snoozing – the Sn?zNL?z(TM). People who enjoy sleeping in are cowering in fear all across the globe – it’s finally true, when you snooze, you lose!
ThinkGeek, it sounds great! But how does it really work?
Glad you asked….it’s quite simple actually. The Sn?zNL?z uses the very complex psychological phenomenon known as ‘HATRED’. Basically it’s human nature to wish harm upon your enemies. Similarly, it’s human nature not to give your enemies gobs of cash so that they can grow big and dominate the world with their totally wrong, stupid and invalid point of view. ThinkGeek realized that. That’s why everytime you hit the snooze button, the Sn?zNL?z will donate a specified amount of your real money to a non-profit you hate. The problem of sleeping in is solved.
And it’s easy to setup and use too! Just plug your Sn?zNL?z in and either connect it to your network via the RJ45 jack on the back, or via WiFi (WPA supported) if available. Then simply configure via the embedded web browser configuration utility. From here it’s a snap. Simply select your online banking institution from the list of supported banks (currently over 1600 are supported). Supply your login information and then select your favorite HATED charity or non-profit from the included lists (over 6200 currently supported). Then plug in your donation amount per snooze incident ($10 or more), set the time, and alarm, and voila, instant time profit!
I’ll admit, I’m usually guilty of the snooze button mentality. I compensate by setting the alarm earlier than necessary, so that I know I have extra snooze time in the morning. It’s even nicer to get that extra snooze in the morning when you have a mattress that gives you extra comfort. I bet if the people who don’t have a nice mattress find it easier to wake up in the morning just so they can get out of their bed. They should probably have a look at some of these mattress reviews, (https://www.bestmattress-reviews.org/) so they can also enjoy that extra snooze they can get in the morning by setting their alarm earlier. Some people, on the other hand, will hit snooze until they’re late for work (or whatever else they’re supposed to do in the morning). I’m sure this would be quite a good incentive to stop that behavior!
I did not watch the most recent Republican debate so I have no idea what the context is for this photo. Not knowing the context of what was happening at this very moment in time makes this photo all the more interesting and humorous to me. I can’t help but wonder what Gov. Huckabee might be explaining and what Congressman Paul is thinking.
With this priceless picture, I thought it might be fun to have a contest among the contributors and readers of The Liberty Papers. No prizes, just fun.
We have a winner!
Huck: “OK, Ron, I give up! How many nanny state proposals does it take before I can be called a ‘flaming liberal’?”
Paul: “You just don’t get it, do ya?”
[Huckabee] “Ten. That’s how many corny lines I’ve delivered so far tonight in order to avoid answering a question. Now ask me another question.”
Today’s double-speak is: “Al-Qaeda’s Number 3 Man”
A hierarchical description applied to a member of an organization that has no clearly defined hierarchy beyond the top two members. This term is popular with the current administration whenever they kill a probable terrorist whose body the military was able to identify in a timely fashion and who had enough of a profile with the media so that his death was notable (i.e. “The death of (insert deceased’s name) represents a turning point in our efforts here in (insert country name) because he was al-Qaeda’s number 3 man.”) despite the tendency of said individual’s death to have little to no meaningful impact on our efforts in the Global War On Terror. Also used to diffuse criticism of human rights violations committed by the U.S. government against detainees by attaching a superficial sense of importance or urgency to the information said interrogation suspect possesses (e.g. Sheikh Khalid Mohammad), despite a continuing inability of the government to demonstrate that said human rights abuses provided any tangible benefits in regards to the Global War on Terror beyond getting people off the President’s back.
For the life of me, I don’t understand why so many “conservatives” support Mike Huckabee*. He raises taxes, increases spending, his anti-capitalist/populist rhetoric is indistinguishable from that of John Edwards (minus the “Two Americas” b.s.), he wants a national smoking ban in all workplaces, and he once thought that AIDS patients should be quarantined! Democrats traditionally want into our boardrooms while Republicans traditionally want into our bedrooms; Mike Huckabee wants to be in both! Basically, he is the William Jennings Bryan of our time.
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