Category Archives: Humor

10 Reasons To Support Getting High Before You Fly

From that bastion of objective news, The CW:

SAFER, Safer Alternative For Enjoyable Recreation, which got a ballot initiative passed to make enforcing marijuana laws the lowest legal priority in Denver, is now pushing to allow passengers to get high before they fly. But since the FAA oversees the airport and smoking pot is against federal laws, the idea has some people scratching their heads wondering how they can smoke their sour apple mt pleasant mi before boarding a flight.

SAFER members aren’t mapping out the legal landmines. Instead, they just say that the smoking lounge, outside of security at Denver International Airport, falls under Denver Police jurisdiction. And since the new city ordinance was enacted, all penalties for adult marijuana possession, including full spectrum cbd vape pens, have been removed. So they think adults should be allowed to smoke either marijuana or cigarettes in the airport’s smoking lounge. This news is great for anyone who uses marijuana for medical purposes, as it means they will be allowed to smoke while waiting for their plane without any issue. Maybe in the future, they will be able to supply the best weed grinder at the airport shop.

So why should you support this?

10. It’s the mile-high city. Duh!
9. It makes the jerk in the seat next to you for 5 hours much funnier.
8. Letting a drunk out of his window seat three times during a flight to pee is annoying.
7. Flying 500 mph at 35,000 feet in a steel tube is just plain trippy, man… Whoa.
6. It’s probably easier to get weed through security than liquor.
5. The event of a “water landing” is a great cure for cottonmouth.
4. Pilots fly better stoned than drunk.
3. No sober person wants to watch “Snow Dogs.”
2. Because it’s natural, dude. It’s from the earth…

And the reason that it might actually happen?

1. The airlines will find it a lot easier to sell a bag of Doritos for $5 if passengers have the munchies! If you also experience some anxiety while flying, you might also want to check this Medterra CBD review and see if you could try and test to know if it could be of benefit to you.

RIP, George Carlin

Today is a sad day for comedy. While I can’t say that I always agreed with some of his ideas, the simple fact is that George Carlin, through the vehicle of comedy, did an incredible job of making people question the world around them. That questioning is the first step towards having independent thoughts– a trait far too lacking in ordinary society.

Carlin likely won’t be remembered by those in media quite as fondly as Tim Russert, a man who spent his media career looking up old quotes of politicians and asking them why they weren’t consistent with their current quotes. Russert was part of the media machine that incentivized bullshit, because only people who spout platitudes can avoid being criticized for changing their minds.

Carlin, on the other hand, was the catalyst for a very important free speech case before the Supreme Court. The case was decided wrongly, but his courage to push the boundaries– and thus be slapped down by the FCC, upheld by the Supreme Court– gave us all a lesson in the limits of our government’s willingness to allow us to be free. As Justice Murphy said in a previous decision (quoted as precedent in the decision re: Carlin)–

“Such utterances are no essential part of any exposition of ideas, and are of such slight social value as a step to truth that any benefit that may be derived from them is clearly outweighed by the social interest in order and morality.” Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire, 315 U.S., at 572.

Can anyone honestly say that the below monologue isn’t an exposition of ideas?

Just because it comes in a comedic package doesn’t make it any less of an indictment of the absurdity of our society’s treatment of language. Perhaps the powers that be might not like us treating their somber regulations as the butt of jokes, and such a monologue hits them a little too close to home. So be it. It should hit too close to home, because these regulations are asinine and unnecessary. Ridicule is a great way to point that out.

Thank you, George. You will be missed.

The Amish– Behind Ahead Of Their Time

From the AP, sure to be an environmentalist’s wet dream:

High gas prices have driven a Warren County farmer and his sons to hitch a tractor rake to a pair of mules to gather hay from their fields. T.R. Raymond bought Dolly and Molly at the Dixon mule sale last year. Son Danny Raymond trained them and also modified the tractor rake so the mules could pull it.

T.R. Raymond says the mules are slower than a petroleum-powered tractor, but there are benefits.

“This fuel’s so high, you can’t afford it,” he said. “We can feed these mules cheaper than we can buy fuel. That’s the truth.”

And Danny Raymond says he just likes using the mules around the farm.

“We’ve been using them quite a bit,” he said.

Brother Robert Raymond added, “It’s the way of the future.”

Way of the future? Does this mean we should all switch from petroleum to alternative mules? Just make sure you understand the mule industry’s “planned obsolescence” strategy. You need to replace the mules every time they stop fogging a mirror.

I guess the Amish would be laughing their heads off over this… They’ve been using alternative mules for generations. But since they’re not typically connected to the internet (oh, the electricity they save!), I don’t think we need to worry about their reaction.

Hat Tip: Billy Beck

In Favor Of The Electoral College

Why do I like the electoral college?

Because living in California, these people aren’t canceling out my vote.

Remember, those of you who worship at the altar of democracy, these people are actually allowed to vote. Hannitized, every last one of them.

It’s about individual rights, people, not about democracy. The former is an end, the latter is a means. And that means– with voters like these– doesn’t always [or even usually] lead to increased freedom and individual rights.

The Speed Of Government

I’ve found something that the government does quickly. When you owe them taxes at this time of the year, they don’t waste time. I owed at the end of this year, and there was maybe a 3-4 day from the time we SENT the check and the day it cleared. That check cleared faster than giving it to a crackhead with a gambling problem…

…which is a lot like government, when you really think about it!

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